9 Ways to Say No to Negativity 

negativity

Use proven techniques for seeing the bright side—for a powerful effect on your psyche.
When you’re naturally a glass-half-empty kind of person, hearing slogans like “Think positive!” can make you feel like you’re an occasional jogger being told to run a marathon… tomorrow. Before you can implement positivity strategies—and reap their benefits of improved health, better relationships and more happiness—you have to start by decreasing negativity.

We collected the best negativity reduction tips from psychologists, coaches and authors to help you identify your look-on-the-gray-side habits and begin to chip away at them. There’s a shiny bright side waiting for you!

1. Set reasonable goals.

“A lot of people who see the negative side of things also tend to put themselves down because they set huge, intimidating goals that are difficult to attain,” says Lavinia Lumezanu, a marketing executive and leadership trainer. So instead of saying, “I’m going to write a book this year!” start with a goal of signing up for a writers’ class or completing three pages instead. The satisfaction in reaching these smaller goals will motivate you to reach the next one.

2. Turn “problems” into “challenges.

Words are very powerful, says Kristi Ling, author of Empower Your Day: Keys to Creating More Happiness, Energy and Success Through Positive Mornings. “Try creating a list of negative words or phrases that you use often and replace them with ones that are a bit more positive.” If you regularly complain of problems, for example, start referring to them as challenges instead. Eliminate the phrase “I should…” from your self-talk, too, and replace it with “I could choose to…,” says licensed mental health counselor Carol Patterson, a therapist in Vancouver, Wash. “Should” carries obligation, dread and resentment. “Choose” puts you in the driver’s seat, as in “I could choose to do this laundry now so that I can relax tonight.” While it may seem like simple semantics, the words you use every day in your self-talk can have a real effect on your attitude.

3. Reset your default answer.

People who are naturally negative tend to use no as their first response to new ideas and experiences, says Lynette Louise, a neurofeedback therapist. “In part, they do this to buy time while actually making a decision, but then they end up defending the ‘no’ choice and sticking to it, even at times when they might not have.” Default instead to “I’m not sure; give me a minute,” she suggests. Then try to find a good reason to say yes before you say no.

4. Display that award.

“It can be important to have physical reminders of positivity in one’s environment,” says Frank Addonizio, Ph. D., vice president of Global Clinical Counseling Services for Workplace Options, an employee work-life services company in Raleigh, N.C. What works: anything that reminds you of past achievements (awards, published writing, a business card), satisfying relationships (photos, artwork by your kids) or positive personal attributes (maybe a gift or letter from an appreciative client or boss that details some of your talents). It’s hard to get down on yourself in the face of real proof of your abilities and full life.

5. Put your hands up!

Historically, humans and other animals have expressed power through large, open postures. Think of a peacock fanning his tail or a negotiator standing and straightening up while her opponent sits. Powerlessness is conveyed through body language, too; think of frightened children curled in the fetal position, or a shy person with slouched shoulders and downcast eyes. Standing up tall and spreading your arms might make you look bigger and more powerful, but can it actually convey power? In 2012 researchers from Harvard asked study participants to hold either one of two “power poses” (one was leaning back in a chair with hands behind head, elbows out and legs raised on a table in front) or a low-power pose (standing with arms hugging chest and ankles crossed) for one minute each. Before-and-after heart rate and blood tests showed that those who held the high-power pose increased their levels of testosterone (a hormone involved with feelings and expressions of confidence and dominance) and lowered their levels of cortisol (a stress hormone). In interviews, they revealed feeling more powerful and open to risk. Low-power posers had the opposite results.

So the next time you need a confidence boost, strike a pose. Dana Santas, the yoga trainer for the Philadelphia Phillies, the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Tampa Bay Lightning, instructs athletes to hold the “Mountain Pose with Arms Up” when they lose that eye of the tiger. It’s super-simple: Stand with your feet hip-distance apart. Inhale and raise your arms overhead at shoulder width. Close your eyes and take 10 long, deep breaths. On your last exhalation, draw your palms down and together in the middle of your chest and turn the corners of your mouth up in a smile. Take two or three more deep breaths, exhaling through your nose.

6. Be a critical thinker, not a critical person.

“I have a client who struggled with always seeing the negative in everything,” says Elaine Taylor-Klaus, a life coach. “We figured out her brain was just wired as a critical thinker. She approaches everything critically, and that can be a good thing. She just had to work on reminding herself that an opportunity for improvement is not a criticism. Something can be not the way she imagined it and not be wrong.” If you’re a critical, analytical thinker, Taylor-Klaus says, recognize that you are likely to have the critical thought first, but practice redirecting those thoughts by asking yourself, What else is also true about this situation/dilemma/person?

7. Wake up on the right side of the bed.

When you first wake up, it’s easy to start thinking about all the stuff you have to get done that day or complain about how the kids kept you up all night. Instead of letting your head go to those negative places, Shawn Anderson, author of Extra Mile America: Stories of Inspiration, Possibility and Purpose, suggests asking yourself three “morning questions”: 1) What am I excited about doing today? 2) Who can I encourage or serve today? (Get the focus off yourself.) 3) What am I grateful for? Thinking about all that you have and are excited about can change your outlook and attitude for the whole day.

8. Detox from bad news.

We’re not suggesting that you live in a hole or pretend that strife and tragedy don’t exist, but until you can build up some immunity (through these tips and other strategies you’ll find at SUCCESS.com) to the negativity that the evening news can deliver, take a break from it, suggests Colene Elridge, a life coach in Lexington, Ky. If it’s Facebook that’s getting you down (Why does everyone else look so darn happy? Why is everyone posting articles I don’t agree with?), suspend your account. Resist the urge to read the terrible details of the latest crash or kidnapping.

9. Drop your distortions.

There are negative things in the world. Some “sky-is-gray” people are skeptical of focusing on the positive in fear of being “delusional” and not seeing those very real negatives, says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. But we all have cognitive thinking distortions that can alter our perceptions of reality, she says, perhaps causing the negatives to appear fun-house-mirror large. A few common distortions include mindreading, when you assume you know what others think (someone asks you to lunch, for example, and you assume it’s because he feels bad for you); fortunetelling, when you predict the future negatively and then react as if that prediction is imminent (you assume an upcoming company meeting means you’re being let go and begin bad-mouthing your boss and ignoring work); or dichotomous thinking, in which everything is all or nothing (Everyone thinks I am a loser or no one can be trusted). Recognize what your distortions are and see whether you can view circumstances through a clearer, more helpful lens.

Thanks to Patty Enderko

7 Things to Get & Stay Motivated

motivation-imageThe best motivation is self-motivation.

Here’s how to get in an inspired state of mind.

How do you stay motivated and inspired? How can you keep your passion, your excitement, fired up? By reviewing these self-motivators on a regular basis:
1. Get serious.
Make a decision to go all the way to the top. Up to now, you’ve thought about it. Up to now, it’s passed your mind. But now make up your mind to go all the way to the top, and your life will take off. It’s the most extraordinary thing.
Your life is like a shadow going up the dark side of a hill—until the moment you decide that “I’m going to be the best at what I do.” And suddenly you rise into the sunshine, and your life is forever after different—wonderful.
Get serious. Don’t fool around anymore.
2. Know your limiting step.
What’s your limiting step? What’s the one skill area that’s holding you back? What’s the quality? What’s the action? Ask other people. Find out what you need to become good at.
Find out what’s keeping you stuck. What is the critical limiting step that’s determining your success today?
3. Get around the right people.
Who are the right people? Winners. Get around positive people. Get around people with goals and plans, people who are going somewhere with their lives and have high aspirations. Get around eagles. As Zig Ziglar says, “You can’t scratch with the turkeys if you want to fly with the eagles.”
And get away from negative people. Get away from toxic people that complain and whine and moan all the time. Who needs them? Life is too short.
4. Take care of yourself.
Take excellent care of your health. That means good diet, good exercise. Everybody knows they should eat better foods, work out regularly and get lots of rest. If you’re going to work hard five days a week, go to bed early five days a week.
5. See yourself as the best.
Visualize yourself as the very best in whatever you do—continually. Remember, all improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures.
6. Talk nicely to yourself.
Control your inner dialogue and practice positive self-talk. How? Say, “I’m the best.” Say it. Say, “I like myself,” “I can do it,” “I love my work.” If you say those things to yourself and you don’t believe them, isn’t that lying to yourself? No, that’s not lying to yourself—it’s telling the truth in advance. Because it doesn’t matter where you’re coming from—all that matters is where you’re going.
Talk to yourself the way you want to be, not the way you just happen to be at this moment. Remember, you may have gotten where you are today largely by accident. But where you’re going in the future is purely by design.
7. Get going.
Move fast. A sense of urgency is the one thing you can develop that will separate you from everyone else. Develop a bias for action. When you get a good idea, do it now.
And the faster you move, the better you get. And the better you get, the more you like yourself. And the more you like yourself, the higher your self-esteem is. And the higher your self-esteem is, the greater your self-discipline is. And the more you persist, then you ultimately become unstoppable.

My thanks to Brian Tracy

8 Ways to Be a More Confident Person

confidence-level

Because there’s power in self-confidence.

Here’s how to get it.

Look at yourself.

Who do you see?   Superhero, muscles bulging, cape flying—ready to conquer the world?

No?

If you don’t believe you can conquer the world, then there’s no way you ever will.
You might not be superhuman, but you can combat the villain of low self-esteem.

How?

We asked the Young Entrepreneur Council (YEC), “What is one way someone can build their self-confidence, personally and professionally?” for answers.
Here are their suggestions for a boost:

1. Strengthen your mind.

Self-confidence is a state of mind that can be achieved through intentional action. Allotting time to nurture your mind, body and spirit (preferably one hour a day) can be done in a variety of ways. I prefer to read, exercise and meditate in the morning. If you’re not taking time for yourself, then you’re allowing someone or something to shape your view of the world.
—Dustin Cucciarre, BryghtAds Inc.

2. Discard the negative thoughts you don’t need.

A whole new branch of psychology is dedicated to mindfulness, but it boils down to this: Negative thoughts and insecurities pop up like pimples. And, like pimples, picking at them—even if you mean to discredit and burst that negative bubble—ultimately makes it worse. So, mindfulness practice teaches you to treat thoughts as tools. Use and strengthen the ones you need; discard the ones you don’t. —Manpreet Singh, TalkLocal

3. Live a lifestyle of personal growth.

Putting yourself into courses or professional relationships that force you to grow ensures that you’re always expanding, which in turn generates confidence and humility. From therapeutic programs to leadership programs to physical programs, committing to this kind of regular growth and showing up and being fully present are the keys to confidence.
—Corey Blake, Round Table Companies

4. Learn about impostor syndrome.

Many professionals will at some point experience a psychological phenomenon known as imposter syndrome, complete with feelings of inadequacy and a fear that everything accomplished to date has been through sheer luck. To overcome this, learn to internalise accomplishments. Peer groups are a great place to talk it out and build confidence.
—Joel Holland, Video Blocks

5. Dress for success.

No matter what level of business you’re in, it’s important to dress for the client you want, rather than the client you have. There’s this idea of working from home in PJ’s. The most successful people get up early and dress like they’re off for a day at the office, and it’s reflected in their attitude. When you look good, you feel good and you’re more confident, too.
—Nicole Munoz, Start Ranking Now

6. Take an improv class.

Improv classes make you think on your toes in front of an audience. Being on stage helps grow your confidence; being in front of crowds teaches you how to think and react quickly—all things that translate well to a boardroom or public speaking opportunity.
—Brooke Bergman, Allied Business Network Inc.

7. Produce a high-quality personal brand.

I believe that a key component to building self-confidence is in publicly building one’s own brand. This can be done through the creation of high-quality content like blog posts, e-books, podcasts or video content. Even if it doesn’t receive much traction initially, the fact that you have a body of work that you are proud to refer others to can make a big difference in your self-confidence.
—Joshua Dorkin, BiggerPockets, Inc.

8. Recognise your value outside of your work.

Your self-confidence needs to be rooted in who you are completely outside of your success in business. So find ways to get connected with yourself and grow. Perhaps volunteer, do pro-bono work, meditate, work out, read, hang out with friends. Whatever it takes for you to see your value regardless of how well [you’re doing professionally].

My thanks to Jim Rhon...

What Happens to Your Waistline When You Drink a Glass of Red Wine Before Bed?

My absolute thanks to “POSITIVE MED” for this extremely enlightening article about the great benefits of drinking red wine…

So…cheers to everyone.

Not all drinks and beverages are bad for you, of course, some are filled with sugar or corn syrup, they will not help you reach your health goals. There are some drinks that won’t hurt your waistline, but can be beneficial instead.

Red wine contains a chemical called Ellagic acid which can slow the growth of fat cells and stop formation of new ones, so your body burns more fat. This chemical also boosts metabolism of fatty acids in liver cells. New research shows that drinking one-half a bottle of wine in the evening can help you lose weight faster.

What Happens to Your Waistline When You Drink a Glass of Red Wine Before Bed

Women who drank 1-2 glasses were more likely to lose weight than women who didn’t in the study.
A glass or two of red wine has been shown to cut cravings, appetite, and help to make you feel more relaxed, which means less eating and an earlier bedtime, it can also lower your blood pressure.

Here are some more wonderful benefits of red wine:

We can consider it a cancer treatment, the active antioxidant in red wine known as quercetin can kill cancer cells, it helps induce natural cell death in certain types of cancers, most often colon cancer.
According to researchers and data obtained, it also helps lower risk of heart disease and stroke. Tannins in red wine that give it its red color, contain procyanidins, known for protecting against heart disease. Resveratrol also helps to remove chemicals responsible for causing blood clots, a primary cause of coronary disease. Daily consumption of red wine cuts blood clot-related stroke rates by 50 percent.

Resveratrol is a powerful antioxidant that can help prevent a variety of different cancers. It’s also great for heart health and preventing Alzheimer’s, as it helps prevent cell damage.

Drinking a glass of red wine every night increases levels of good cholesterol HDL while helping reduce the bad, LDL.

Red wine can help you live longer. According to data received, red wine drinkers have a 34 percent lower mortality rate than beer, vodka, or any other beverage drinkers, according to a 29-year-long study. Resveratrol is a polyphenol that could be responsible for wine’s longevity benefits, researchers believe any diet rich in polyphenols is beneficial, they are known for protecting against chronic disease.

We have mentioned resveratrol several times, so what is resveratrol? It’s found in high concentrations in red wine and in the skin of grapes. According to doctors Jeffrey Stuart and Ellen Robb, “this compound helps to break down fats and reduces the amount of fat in your body. By helping to reduce your body fat, the high resveratrol content in red wines can help you lose weight.”

Drink Red Wine To Lose Weight Cheers To Weight Loss-2

There are many benefits to drinking red wine, especially before bedtime, what do you think? Would you consider drinking a glass or two every night to relax and to whittle your waistline?

 


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13 Questions To Help You Find Your Purpose In Life

surrounded by question marks

I’m always on the lookout for thought provoking articles and essays…

Here’s a really good one to get you thinking… just exactly where you are, what your are doing, what you are achieving…is it right for you and having discovered where you need to be and doing…what are you putting into practice to make it happen??

My thanks to : ASHLEY DENTINO for this article…

 When I ask my health coaching clients what makes them the happiest in their lives right now, it’s always something different. Happiness means something completely different to each and every one of  Read

Many people frequently find themselves living one life, but yearning for something more. And that yearning usually doesn’t just happen once; it often happens every couple of years.

You may start feeling a stir inside that brings questions to the surface, like, “Who am I?” and “What am I here to do?”

How you answer those questions can aim your life in a new direction. The questions have the potential to guide you closer to what you truly want in the next unfolding of your life. They can also help you begin participating in the world in a new, more aligned way.

If you don’t take the time to pause and reflect, you’ll start feeling stuck, bored, blocked, out of the flow, depressed, frustrated or sad. Something inside of you is calling on you to grow, and if you suppress that inner guidance, you’ll probably suffer on some level. It seeps into your relationships, your job — everything.

During this time, you’re being asked to tap into the invisible force that naturally guides everything to its highest level of creative possibility.

But in order to co-create with this invisible force and get traction on your path, you must first uncover your deepest desires. They’re part of the inner guidance system that will lead you to a fulfilling life.

I know it’s easy to sweep your desires under the rug because you might not see how they could be possible. They may not be the norm in society or you may feel like you don’t have the support system you need, but these desires are your ticket to a life with more purpose and meaning.

Lifting up the rug and uncovering your deep desires isn’t hard or scary. All it takes is a conscious pause in your day to presence what is trying to happen through you.

There are a lot of questions here to help you sense what is trying to happen next through you. Answer them all or just answer the ones that resonate.

  1. If I continue doing what I’m doing, what kind of person will I be in five years?
  2. What do I wish I spent more time doing?
  3. What do other people always thank me for?
  4. What completely absorbs my interest and attention?
  5. What do I need to do to truly enjoy my work and effectively lead others?
  6. What weight am I carrying that prevents me from moving forward?
  7. What dream do I need to start moving toward?
  8. When did I feel like I was being completely authentic?
  9. How do I know when I’m being completely authentic?Why am I doing what I’m currently doing?
  10. When do I constantly have to adapt and act like I’m someone else?
  11. Where will I end up if I continue to show the world a facade and keep underutilizing my strengths?
  12. When was the last time I lit myself up and turned my energy on?

After looking for themes in the questions above …

  • Who am I in the next phase of my life?
  • How do I want to feel in the next phase of my life?
  • What do I do in the next phase of my life?

Every failure can be a success…!!

Failure is part of success